Another Post About Love

I have so much on my mind right now, much of it I want to share on here. I'm going to start with ideas of love...

So in my life right now, I'm pretty attached to a guy, who I write about quite a bit. I love him. Now the thing with love is like any emotion there is a scale. Where I am with him on the love scale is past friend, but nowhere near spouse. It can be easy to confuse love and lust, which I have an example of later. I've been in love before, I know what it feels like for me. I've had lustful feelings as well. My loving feelings I have no are not like ones I've had in the past, but I've learned that you can't compare any kind of relationship, each one is different. I'm at a point where I don't just wanna jump him, it isn't all about the sex and the kissing. I will admit, I don't think my relationship is totally healthy. Part of the reason I feel so strong is because of wanting the emotional support I get from it. I mean it in the I'm with you cause I don't wanna be alone sort of way. With that being said, I believe it is only a mild form of that. I know that I can get that kind of attention from other sources and I don't need to stay with him to get it. To summarize I have a romantic love intimacy and passion with no commitment. 

I like what I have right now. I have someone I feel like I can tell anything to. Someone I can be sexual with. Someone I can hang out with when I need a break from my friends. I have to say goodbye to him in a couple weeks. The no commitment thing has been really nice...until this point. We're not going to cut ties completely. He promises that he will still call and I won't be that far away next year. Still it is a sad time...
I have a friend who has lustful feelings for a guy, which she is confusing with love. I am going to skip all the details, but it leaves me in a tough place. What do you do as a friend? I don't want to hurt her or get into a fight with her over it if I try to set her straight. At the same time, do I let her keep living this fantasy until she does get hurt? I have confused love with lust, lucky for me the lust turned into love, it happens to people. It is just frustrating to be the friend.
I do not think I know everything...or even anything about love. Lets be honest. Those invisible nouns, like feelings, are not universal. Especially one like love. I think we all decide what love feels like and what it means to us. How can you really know anything about it?
I do not like when other people tell me how to manage my relationships. I do not want to do this for other people. I do think there are times when the two parts of the relationship do not really know how the other one feels. Which is what I think is going on with my friend, which is why I feel the urge to step in and be like hey do you really know what is going on here?
So today, I was given some information about my relationship. Now this was one of those he told him and then she found out then told me situations, so I am not thinking of it the same way as if I did from the source. Anyway, this bit of information implies that my lover may have stronger feelings then I thought. The two of us have talked extensively about our feelings for each other, we both have expressed strong feelings, but that we couldn't be in a more serious relationship with each other for a variety of reasons. Now, we have never been monogamous. Let me rephrase that, our relationship is not a strictly monogamous one, even though our practices have been. Up until last week I haven't even held hands with another guy, the thought of it didn't even pop into my head. One day, my lover brought it up, I went on a date with another guy, it went horrible. The information I was told would mean that he wanted to be monogamous, this man who told me he didn't think he could get married unless it was an open marriage. I'm very confused. I know he cares greatly about me. He said he has never felt the way he does with me before. It isn't like the kind of love he has felt with past girlfriends. I'm not in his head or his heart, so I'm not really sure what that means. So weird and confusing...the worse thing is, I promised not to tell him about this, because I wasn't suppose to know.
I have a lot to think about. I have to decide how involved the two of us will be now that I am graduating. It isn't my choice alone, but a decision that cannot be made until I figure out what I want. I love and care about him, but I do not see him being my husband. Where does that leave us? Is it a waste of time and just creating heartbreak to keep him in my life?