Responsible

My mom always told me I wasn't responsible, which I am starting to realize is kind of true.  I do not think I cannot handle responsibility at all, I think it is more that I don't have much motivation in life.  When there are tasks I care about I can be very responsible.  I forget how lazy I am and I get shit done. I think the problem comes from so few things in life truly matters...I often find myself thinking nothing matters...not in the life is pointless I wanna die sense, but in the life is going to happen so just let it happen sense.  This has given me a pretty stress free life, though it does come in bursts when I do decide to care. Sometimes I wish I was that responsible person, who had everything under control, instead of the person who just doesn't care.  Then I realize that being that person would give me a new set of problems and why change how I live if it has kept me alive for 22 years now. Even so, looking back on my college experience, I have become more responsible and I am sure living on my own next year will add to that. I'm not going to worry about it though, because life will happen either way...
Now a song from my favorite Cloud Cult album